Whilst many people will be celebrating Mother’s Day on Sunday 19th March, there will be many bereaved children and young people in Norfolk who will find the day extremely difficult. They will be missing their mum, or the person who they’ve looked up to as their mother figure, some for the first time.
The build up to Mother’s Day for a bereaved child or young person can be incredibly overwhelming, especially as there are so many places promoting Mother’s Day. It’s difficult to avoid it whether you’re online, watching TV or out visiting shops.
Every child grieves differently, it’s a very personal process. The build up to days like Mother’s Day can unearth a variety of difficult emotions including sadness, anger, anxiety and even guilt.
What’s important for a child/young person to know is that if they are struggling with the build-up and the day itself, that it’s okay to give themselves permission to sit with their difficult feelings and to do what feels right for them. It’s not about making the feelings stop or trying to ignore them, sometimes sitting with those feelings will give them time to process and reflect.
Have a chat with them and see if they would like to do something to mark the day. For instance, if they’d like to buy or make a card. They may want to leave it by the grave or special place. But if they don’t perhaps it can be stored safely in a memory box or book.
The same goes for buying a gift, if they see something they know Mum would have liked, then they can always get this for their memory box or keep for themselves.
Other ideas or things they may want to do is cook their favourite food, listen to their favourite song or look at some photos.
They may wish to ignore the day entirely and that’s fine too. There should be no pressure or expectations to do anything if they don’t want to.
Something our team talk about with bereaved children and young people is that whilst mum is not physically there anymore, they still have a place in your life, and whilst it’s a different place, they are still your mum.
Our website has lots of remembering activities, so if you feel stuck for some ideas, please click here.
Whatever you choose to do, the team here at Nelson’s Journey will be thinking of those who are remembering their Mum or the person they looked to as their mother figure.