VACANCY: Can you raise funds and organise events in support of Norfolk’s bereaved children?

VACANCY: Funding & Marketing Officer

Permanent, full time (37hrs per week)
Salary: From £22,500 – £24,500 depending on relevant experience

Closing date: contact us before applying – details below

smile@richardjarmy.co.uk – Richard Jarmy Photography

Nelson’s Journey, Norfolk’s leading child bereavement charity, is seeking an inspiring and focussed individual to join its fundraising and marketing operations. The post holder will be responsible for raising funds required for the support of Norfolk’s bereaved children and young people.

The successful candidate will work as part of a team, and with specific responsibility for developing and delivering fundraising and marketing projects and tasks to achieve income targets.

The charity would particularly welcome applications from candidates that can demonstrate experience of event planning and delivery, to support a programme of charity and fundraising events identified for 2024.

The post-holder will work as part of a team to drive an increase in fundraising income so that the charity can continue to set ambitious spending plans and look to its future growth.

The post holder will develop relationships and present to a wide range of audiences, including through giving talks and supporting social media content.

Applicants must be able to provide a car for which a mileage rate will be paid. Business use insurance must be in place for the vehicle. This post is subject to a Disclosure and Barring Service check. Right to Work in the UK will need to be established. We are an equal opportunities employer.

Nelson’s Journey offers generous annual leave entitlement of 26 days, in addition to bank holidays and public holidays.

The application pack is available below for download, and further information including our Privacy Notice can be found on this website.

Help us to bring back smiles to Norfolk’s bereaved children and young people, and download an application pack below.

Enquiries: Email simon@nelsonsjourney.org.uk or if you’d like to discuss the role further, please phone 01603 431788

APPLICATION PACK
Click headings to download each document:

Application Pack Cover Letter

Job Description

Person Specification

Nelson’s Journey Overview of Operations

Recruitment of Ex-Offenders Policy

Application Form

Managing Missed Milestone Moments

Coping with the absence of significant people in your life is difficult enough, but when important milestone moments take place, this can be even more challenging and emotionally difficult.

For children and young people, August and September can be huge milestone months, especially for those who are waiting for A-Level and GCSE results, or for those starting school, college or embarking on a new school year and the changes this can bring.

When a significant person is no longer present in their life, it can trigger very difficult feelings associated with grief, which can make it even harder to handle these moments.

Some children and young people may already feel these absences in the lead-up to these significant events, for others, it may not hit them until afterwards. The journey of grief is unique to everyone and it’s important to take care of yourself and find ways to support yourself if these difficult moments arise.

Some of our Child Bereavement Support Workers have shared some tips and ideas on ways to help you cope if you’re struggling to cope when these milestone moments arise, here are their ideas:

Duncan

“Something we talk about a lot is getting children and young people to write a letter to their special person or keep an ongoing diary or journal, with milestones, achievements and even disappointments. They can also include a photo of what they are writing about i.e. first day at high school, winning a medal at a sports club, that kind of thing.

It’s also important for them to remember that not everything in life is going to work out how they want and it’s okay to acknowledge this in a journal entry too, with maybe how they will reflect and learn from this.”

Keighley

“Think about how the loved one might choose to celebrate the milestone and maybe blend that into the day of the event.

Share your plans and feelings with those around you – especially at times like Christmas when there may have been traditions before, you may not feel the same about them anymore or may want to start new ones.

It’s ok to make time for yourself on these days and these times. Reach out and don’t be scared or worried to tell people how you are feeling. Tears are not a bad thing!!

Give yourself permission not to observe or celebrate the milestone. Sometimes the thought of the milestone can be pretty overwhelming & often it can become a day that you end up dreading. It’s perfectly fine if you don’t want to celebrate it and want to treat it as an ordinary day. Our grieving processes are all different.”

Rachel

“There’s a lovely part in the Julie Stokes book ‘You will be ok’ where she talks about her own experience of being invited to meet the Queen because of the work she has done with bereaved children. She talked about on the day feeling surprised by overwhelming sadness rather than excitement as her own father wasn’t there to be part of it. She refers to digging into her grief toolbox and wearing his favourite aftershave on the day to maintain that connection of her dad being part of the special day as smells can really connect to emotions. Thinking about a smell, item of clothing or holding close to them a photo on these milestone days to help maintain that connection to the person who has died.”

Keeley

“It can be helpful to use a calendar to note down the dates that may be difficult, such as birthdays, anniversaries, prom, exam results etc. so these occasions don’t take you by surprise. Acknowledge that these days, and sometimes even the days on either side of these dates may be hard. It can be good to think ahead and have some ideas of what you feel may help you.

It may be things like making family, friends, teachers, etc aware that you might find that day hard.

You could explain to others how they can help you on that day i.e. ask you how you are, not mention it, talk to you, give you space, a hug or just a smile.

Maybe it would be helpful to plan a moment during the day to remember your special person, such as lighting a candle, visiting the grave or a place special to them, or listening to their favourite song.

You might like to wear a piece of their clothing, jewellery, or favourite colour on the day to feel connected to them.

Not all milestone occasions are sad, some can also be days of celebration and joy. Either way, remember to be kind to yourself, allow the tears to come if needed and don’t feel bad if you are happy.”

 

Supporting a Bereaved Child at School

Teachers and support staff play a crucial role in supporting bereaved children and young people as they spend a significant amount of time with them.

It can be a very challenging experience for them to return to school when a significant person in their life has died, so it’s vital they received the appropriate support to meet their specific needs.

Here are some tips on how staff can best support a bereaved child/ young person in school.

  • When you first hear of the bereavement, we suggest that someone from the leadership team or the child’s class teacher reaches out to the family. This could be done either by phone or in person. It may also be thoughtful to send a card, or you could consider sending them a Smiles & Tears box which is a gift box of useful resources that has been specifically designed to support a bereaved child. To find out more and to order them, please click here.

 

  • Work with the family and create a plan for the child’s return to school. They may feel worried and anxious about their peers knowing about their situation and may prefer to share with a select few friends. It’s important to understand what information the family and child want to share within the school community. Establishing a support system for the child is crucial as they will need people to turn to when they are struggling, including identifying a trusted adult, who can be there for them. However, be mindful that sometimes hearing about a death and witnessing a child’s distress can trigger grief in adults, so ensure staff members are supported too.

 

  • There may be some sensitive issues around the person’s death, for instance, if it was a suicide. It’s best to work with the family to determine what information can and cannot be shared. If staff are made aware of the death, it’s not necessary for everyone to know all of the details, but for everyone to be aware of what has happened.

 

  • If the child shares their experience, it’s important to listen without sharing your personal views and beliefs. Each child’s grief journey is unique and there may be things you hear that don’t fit your own views and beliefs. It’s important to just listen to the child without judgement.

 

  • It’s important to be flexible when a child/ young person returns to school. Some may struggle to attend on a full-time basis, whilst others may take comfort in the structure and routine of school life. They may wish to come back on a part-time basis and may need to take regular breaks when they feel overwhelmed. Remember, just because they are in school, doesn’t mean they will be able to focus on their learning all the time.

 

  • Be aware that their behaviour can change quite quickly. It’s normal that they will lose their concentration in class, and you may see them jump from being overwhelmed and emotional to happy and laughing.

 

  • Suggest to the child/ young person to try using our Smiles & Tears Postcards. These are a downloadable resource for bereaved children and young people to print off and use to help them communicate how they’re feeling without talking. These postcards can be shared with teachers, as well as with, friends, family members and even themselves. To download them, click here.

 

  • Our website offers various resources that can assist you in supporting a child/ young person who is grieving. There are lots of free downloadable activities to help remember their significant person as well as helping them manage difficult feelings. Visit https://nelsonsjourney.org.uk/resources/ to access these resources.

 

  • There are lots of books to help support bereaved children and young people, to download full list of recommended reading, please click here.

 

  • Training – We offer free, online awareness training which is open to professionals who are working with children and young people in Norfolk. The session will help you to recognise a range of experiences related to bereavement, understand the services we provide to children and young people, gain confidence in how to work with bereaved children, young people and their families as well as identify resources and organisations available to support bereaved families. Our next training session is on 4th September 2023 at 9.30am and can be booked online here: https://nelsonsjourneytraining.eventbrite.co.uk

COPING WITH THE BUILD UP TO MOTHER’S DAY

Whilst many people will be celebrating Mother’s Day on Sunday 19th March, there will be many bereaved children and young people in Norfolk who will find the day extremely difficult. They will be missing their mum, or the person who they’ve looked up to as their mother figure, some for the first time.

The build up to Mother’s Day for a bereaved child or young person can be incredibly overwhelming, especially as there are so many places promoting Mother’s Day. It’s difficult to avoid it whether you’re online, watching TV or out visiting shops.

Every child grieves differently, it’s a very personal process. The build up to days like Mother’s Day can unearth a variety of difficult emotions including sadness, anger, anxiety and even guilt.

What’s important for a child/young person to know is that if they are struggling with the build-up and the day itself, that it’s okay to give themselves permission to sit with their difficult feelings and to do what feels right for them. It’s not about making the feelings stop or trying to ignore them, sometimes sitting with those feelings will give them time to process and reflect.

Have a chat with them and see if they would like to do something to mark the day. For instance, if they’d like to buy or make a card. They may want to leave it by the grave or special place. But if they don’t perhaps it can be stored safely in a memory box or book.

The same goes for buying a gift, if they see something they know Mum would have liked, then they can always get this for their memory box or keep for themselves.

Other ideas or things they may want to do is cook their favourite food, listen to their favourite song or look at some photos.

They may wish to ignore the day entirely and that’s fine too. There should be no pressure or expectations to do anything if they don’t want to.

Something our team talk about with bereaved children and young people is that whilst mum is not physically there anymore, they still have a place in your life, and whilst it’s a different place, they are still your mum.

Our website has lots of remembering activities, so if you feel stuck for some ideas, please click here.

Whatever you choose to do, the team here at Nelson’s Journey will be thinking of those who are remembering their Mum or the person they looked to as their mother figure.

The Queen’s Funeral: Preparing Children and Young People

The Queen’s Funeral will be held at Westminster Abbey on Monday 19 September, 11am. Many families will be given time off school and work to observe the Day of National Mourning, and watch the funeral on the television.
 
Some children may benefit from talking to their families and carers in advance of the funeral, to help them prepare for the event. Even if they choose not to watch it, they are very likely to see images and clips of the funeral through various media.
 
While the funeral may seem very different, children and young people are likely to be reminded of previous funeral services that they’ve attended, and that may bring up difficult memories.
 
Children may feel a mixture of emotions before, during and after the funeral, and it’s important to reassure them that this is normal. They will probably see a mix of emotions from others during the funeral too. They will see lots of sad people crying, but there may also be lighter moments when a funny story or memory is shared. Children may find it helpful to see that adults can have a range of feelings when someone has died, just as they may have themselves. If the experience becomes overwhelming, then it’s ok to switch off for a while so that children can take a break if they need it.
 
Children may have lots of questions about the funeral, and it might be that we don’t always have the answers for them. It is best to be honest in these situations and say if you don’t know. Maybe you can find out the answer together? Particularly at a state funeral, there may be procedures and elements of the ceremony that are historically informed and don’t occur at other funerals.
 
After the funeral, it’s important to speak to children about how they’re feeling and whether they want to talk about anything they’ve experienced.
 
Some children might find it helpful to engage in an activity that helps them to write down their memories of the Queen. We have lots of free activity and resource sheets, such as our memory bricks, which can be downloaded via our Resources and Activities section of our website.
 
Parents, carers and professionals may find it helpful to read out ‘At a time of bereavement’ booklet which can be downloaded here, before having discussions with children and young people about death.

Talking to children about the death of the Queen

Nelson’s Journey is saddened by the death of HRH Queen Elizabeth II. Our thoughts are with The Royal Family.

The death of the Queen affects children as well as adults. Nelson’s Journey is encouraging families and communities to talk to their children and young people about how the news may be affecting them, and to open up a conversation about death.

For some young children, this may be their first recognition of someone who has died. For others, such as those supported by Nelson’s Journey, the Queen’s death may bring up memories and feelings about deaths that they have previously experienced. Some children may associate memories of those who died with the Queen – perhaps because they have memories of visits to Sandringham Estate or watching the Queen’s Speech together.

Coverage of the Queen’s death and the funeral in one week’s time will be extensive. Children, including those of a young age, will be just as aware of that coverage as adults are. Time spent now talking to children and young people may be helpful in preparing them for the day of the funeral, especially if they want to watch the funeral.

We would like to encourage parents, carers and professionals to read our booklet, ‘At a time of bereavement’. This contains many tips and ideas about how you can talk directly and openly to children about death and the feelings that they may have.

To download a copy of our booklet, please click here:

Read ‘At a time of bereavement’

Please also keep an eye on our Facebook and social media accounts, which will continue to share useful information about talking to children and young people.

Nelson’s Journey’s website also contains many other resources and materials that you may find helpful.

To allow our staff to observe the Day of National Mourning, we will be closing our office next Monday, 19 September.

Join our NJ 25 Campaign – Celebrating 25 years of Nelson’s Journey

This year, Nelson’s Journey turns 25 and in celebration, we are launching our NJ25 campaign. We are looking for 20 businesses to join together to collectively fund the salary of a Child Bereavement Support Worker which will support more than 100 children over the next year.

Places have already started being snapped up, so please act quickly if you or your business would like to fill the remaining places.

If you would like to find out more or become part of the NJ25 campaign and join other hard working businesses such as DHL Supply Chain, Earlham Crematorium, Jaya Dance, Rosedale Funeral Home Signs Express Ltd Westcotec Limited & West Earlham Dental Practice Ltd  contact Sarah Dodge, Funding & Marketing Officer to secure your place – details below!

Westcotec
“We are delighted to be part of this campaign. The work Nelson’s Journey do is fantastic and we need to make sure they can continue to grow to help more children in the future.”

Earlham Crematorium
“We are absolutely thrilled to be a part of the 25th Birthday celebrations, and to help Nelson’s Journey continue with their amazing work.”

To find out more, click here for our brochure.

Get in touch with Sarah to ask a question or to get involved, call 01603 431788 or email sarah@nelsonsjourney.org.uk

END OF THE SCHOOL YEAR – COPING WITH CHANGES AND TRANSITIONS AT SCHOOL

As we draw to the end of the school year and start the long summer break, we find that bereaved children and young people can find this time quite unsettling, especially as there’s lots of talk within schools about new school year and the changes that will happen.

 

Transitioning at school, whether it’s into a new class with a different teacher or to a completely new school is unsettling for any child, but for a child who is bereaved, it can trigger lots of anxious feelings and worries.

 

If you are an adult supporting a bereaved child, it’s important that if you notice any change in their behaviour that you take the time to talk to them, let them offload how they’re feeling and work with them to help them overcome their worries and encourage them to embrace these changes. If they are really struggling with the changes they’re facing, it’s really important that you work with the school to ensure they are aware of your child concerns/ worries and they can put strategies in place to support them. This is especially important if your child has experienced a recent bereavement, as the school staff may not be aware of the situation.

 

If your child is starting a new school then be mindful that you will need to be extra patient with them as they’ve got to navigate around a new environment as well as deal with their feelings. Remember, if you feel like your child needs extra support then make sure you ask for it. The staff will want to make sure that help is put in place to help them as they adjust to their new surroundings.

 

Bereaved children and young people may find it difficult to cope with the return to school in September, and it may take a while to adjust, but with extra adult support and having people around them they trust to help, it will make things more bearable and in time they will settle into their new routine.

 

Our Child Bereavement Support Worker team here at Nelson’s Journey have shared a few tips for bereaved children and young people who are concerned about the changes they’re facing at school and ways they can cope when they return in September.

 

Fiona’s Tip: “You won’t be the only person who will be worried about the changes happening at school, or moving up to high school/ college. It is okay to talk to your friends and tell them the things you are worried about.”

 

Duncan’s Tip: “If you need to know some information or are worried about anything at all, then make sure you speak to an adult in school who you trust. They will want to help you.”

 

Adam’s Tip: “If you have experienced a bereavement recently, then you may be worried about what to tell people or what help you might need in school. Plan for this by writing down the bits of your story that you are happy to share with others (e.g. friends, teachers) and also a list of things you feel may help you in school. Share this with a member of school staff and talk through how they can help you.”

 

Lisa’s Tip: “Before you go back to school, talk to your parent/carer and explain the things that you’ve been thinking about that worry you. Write them down on a piece of paper. As you settle into school, look at the list again with your parent/carer and talk about how things went for you. Sometimes we just need to try something different before we realise that it is okay and that we didn’t need to worry about it so much.”

 

Amy’s Tip: “If you are allowed to, put something small from home in your pocket like a button, photo or something similar. If you are feeling worried during the school day (and miss being at home) you can touch your pocket or hold the object for a short time to make you feel better and remind yourself that people care for you.”

 

Keeley’s Tip: “Be honest, let friends, family, and teachers know if you need help, and what you would like that help to be. Smile, it can make you feel better, makes you look friendly and approachable, and can help put others at ease. Just be yourself, there is no one else like you and you are amazing.”

 

We also understand that bereaved children and young people don’t always want to talk about how they’re feeling or what they need emotionally, but they still need people around them to know and understand how to support them. Our Young Volunteers and Youth Panel recently created a set of Smiles & Tears postcards which could come in really handy when starting back at school in September.

 

These postcards contain lots of suggested ideas and ways a bereaved child or young person may want to be supported. They even have a little tick box against each idea so they can be tailored to meet their needs and feelings without having to talk about how they’re feeling. There’s even some space to write their own ideas too. Each card is different, there’s one for friends, family, adults at school and a blank one for any other special person who’s helping to support a bereaved child or young person. There’s even one for the bereaved child/ young person on ways they can help and look after themselves too.

 

You can download our FREE Smiles & Tear Postcards here

Nelson’s Journey welcomes the support of Consultant Clinical Psychologist

Child Bereavement Support Team working with Dr Ian Newey

Nelson’s Journey is delighted to announce that our Child Bereavement Support Team is being supported by Consultant Clinical Psychologist, Dr Ian Newey. Ian is working with our Support Workers to help them further develop their practice with bereaved children, including through the provision of supervision support to the team.

Ian has a special interest in helping people understand the social and psychological factors that have led to their difficulties and has particular expertise working with children and young people with a history of trauma, traumatic bereavement, disrupted attachment, invalidation, and abuse. He has training in EMDR, Trauma Focused Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Dialectical Behaviour Therapy, Mindfulness and Compassion Focused Therapy.

Ian has been interested in the impact of bereavement on children and young people for many years and first worked in partnership with Nelson’s Journey in 2014.

Dr Newey achieved a B.Sc.(Hons) in Psychology at the University of Wales, Bangor in 1993, an M.Sc. in Health Sciences at the University of East Anglia in 1998 and a Doctorate in Clinical Psychology (Clin.Psy.D.) at the University of East Anglia in 2001. He is a member of the Division of Clinical Psychology and the Faculty for Children, Young People & their Families. Ian is a BPS Chartered Psychologist, is HCPC Registered and has over 25 years’ experience of with Children and their families.

National Day of Reflection

National Day of Reflection: Tuesday 23 March 2021

Norfolk child bereavement charity Nelson’s Journey is supporting the National Day of Reflection on Tuesday 23 March, and encouraging families to be aware of any activity in schools that may affect their children.

There have been thousands of deaths in Norfolk since the start of the first lockdown due to several causes, including coronavirus. Children who’ve experienced the death of someone significant in their lives have in some cases been unable to attend funerals and memorial events, or meet up with friends and family members who would otherwise be there in person to support them. The National Day of Reflection is a welcome opportunity to reflect as a community on those who’ve died and how we can support each other.

Our Bereavement Support Team suggest that families may wish to speak to their children’s schools if someone has died. We expect a number of Norfolk schools to mark the National Day of Reflection, and children in school on the day may want to be prepared for that. It may be helpful for teachers to be aware of any experiences of death, and how bereaved families feel that their children’s responses to grief can be best managed in school.

Nelson’s Journey’s Support Line service is open for bereaved families to contact by phone on 01603 431788 and email at enquiries@nelsonsjourney.org.uk

The National Day of Reflection has been spear-headed by Marie Curie, with more information at: https://www.mariecurie.org.uk/get-involved/day-of-reflection

An activity that families can do together on 23 March

On the National Day of Reflection, families could use our Memory Bricks activity to share their memories about the special person who died. You can download and print your own Memory Bricks to use here. Otherwise, you could work together and produce a poster or piece of artwork to capture your memories.

Click here to download your own Memory Bricks