Coronavirus: A free book for children

A brilliant free information book explaining the coronavirus to children, illustrated by Gruffalo illustrator Axel Scheffler has been released.

The book answers key questions in simple language appropriate for 5 to 9 year olds (although we feel it is helpful for other ages too):

• What is the coronavirus?
• How do you catch the coronavirus?
• What happens if you catch the coronavirus?
• Why are people worried about catching the coronavirus?
• Is there a cure for the coronavirus?
• Why are some places we normally go to closed?
• What can I do to help?
• What’s going to happen next?

Lisa Wright, Child Bereavement Support Worker at Nelson’s Journey has read the book and said “I thought it was honest, informative and reassuring – for children and adults alike”.

At Nelson’s Journey, we are aware that some children and young people that we are currently working with are experiencing increased levels of anxiety around other people in their lives dying. We feel this book will be helpful in providing children with a greater level of understanding.

To access the free book, simply click this link https://tinyurl.com/s5knorv

ANNOUNCEMENT

Following our announcement last week when we shared we would be pausing our face to face support, we wanted to provide a further update regarding additional changes that are being made to our services due to the impact of the COVID-19 outbreak.

As you will know, Coronavirus is having a huge impact on society and the economy, including having a devastating impact on the fundraising income to many local charities.  This week, with a significant reduction in our fundraising income, we have no choice but to take further steps to protect the charity’s future by temporarily laying off the majority of our staff with immediate effect, using the Government’s Job Retention Scheme. We are maintaining our Support Line which has already begun to receive calls following deaths due to the virus.  All other support services have been paused until further notice.

This decision was made with a very heavy heart.  Our priority is to the children and young people we were set up to support, we must ensure that Nelson’s Journey is able to respond to the inevitable increase in demand both now and in the future. We have therefore prioritised the most responsive element of our service to ensure adults are given the professional guidance and support they require to assist them in supporting children and young people.

The financial challenges caused by the current global situation is affecting many people and organisations across Norfolk. We know it is difficult for many people to feel able to donate to charity right now.  In time, as circumstances return to normal, charities will be in tremendous need for support, and we would be really pleased if you were able to find a way to help us at that time so that we may continue our work in Norfolk.

What to do if you wish to seek support for a child or young person:

  1. If you feel you need some guidance on how to provide bereavement support for your child(ren) please call our Support Line on 01603 431788 to leave a message and our duty support worker will get back to you as soon as possible. Alternatively you can email us at enquiries@nelsonsjourney.org.uk or go to our website and use the online referral form.
  2. You can find resources on our website nelsonsjourney.org.uk or via our social media channels. We will keep this updated with information you may find useful.
  3. We also recommend that children and young people (aged over 13 years or younger with parental supervision) download our smartphone app called Smiles & Tears. This offers interactive activities to help them remember the person who died.

As things develop we will keep you updated but in the meantime, thank you for your ongoing support and patience. Please bear with us during these challenging times.

Best wishes

All at Nelson’s Journey

Stay Connected

Connecting with each other:

We are all currently facing lots of uncertainty and change due to the Coronavirus situation.  Life at the moment may be making you feel worried and that things are a little out of control.  There are lots of people we can stay connected with to help our physical and emotional health and well-being at this time.  Below are a few ideas to help you stay connected, healthy and supported.

 

Don’t forget your family and friends!

We can stay connected even if we have to self-isolate! Get creative and think of ways you can stay connected with the people you know.

 

  • Celebrate a special occasion together via a video chat
  • Walk/run/cycle as a household
  • Mail a letter or email to an old friend
  • Teach someone a new skill
  • Play games
  • Set up a group chat
  • Share photos
  • Phone someone
  • Help to a neighbour-from a social distance
  • Smile at others J

 

If you need a little extra support there are plenty of others willing to help.  Here are a few ideas for children and young people and other members of your family:

 

Action for Happiness website:       https://actionforhappiness.org/calendars

Monthly calendars packed with actions you can take to help create a happier and kinder world.

 

Just One Norfolk website:               https://www.justonenorfolk.nhs.uk//

A local resource providing an app and advice on all aspects of life for a child/ young person.  Specific information about emotional health for young people and parents.

 

Young Minds website:                     https://youngminds.org.uk//

Lots of information about young people’s mental health, with various resources available.  A parents’ helpline is also available.

 

ChildLine website:                            https://www.childline.org.uk//

Lots of advice for children, young people and parents/ carers.  Plenty of ideas for activities too.

 

NHS Change for Life:                       www.nhs.uk/change4life

At home we’ll have easier access to snacks and treats! Try to keep a routine to mealtimes and choose foods that will nourish your mind and body.

 

Chat Health:

A text messaging service for 11-19 year olds available Monday-Friday 9-5.  If your child would like to chat to an experienced clinician about a health related matter. Text 07480 635060

 

 

Coronavirus: Guidance for Families around Funerals

We have put this information together based on recent announcements from the Government and advice from the National Association of Funeral Directors. Please bear in mind that funeral arrangements may have to change again in the future as the Government’s response to COVID-19 develops.

This guidance is aimed at parents/carers of children and young people who have experienced a recent death and who may need some support in helping their child at this very challenging time. Funerals (and the lead up to them) may not be what we expect due to the various restrictions that are currently having to be imposed in order to protect public health. It may be very upsetting for families to plan funerals in this limited way as it very unlikely they can have the funeral they would’ve wanted to say their goodbyes to their loved one. Children and young people are likely to have lots of questions so we hope this guide will help.

 

Saying Goodbye

Some children might want to see the person who has died, not least as this would usually help them to understand what’s happened, give them a chance to say goodbye and allow them to accept the reality of the death. This may be more unlikely at the moment due to the viral outbreak. You will need to discuss this with your Funeral Director who will confirm if a visit to the Chapel of Rest is possible or not for family members. If a child cannot visit then perhaps encourage them to write a letter or draw a picture for their special person and ask them to share this with you. They may want it to be a private message where they get to say their own ‘goodbye’ to the person so you may have to respect their privacy. The letter or drawing could go in the coffin or the grave (with the help of your Funeral Director) or another special place e.g. a memory box.

Arranging a Funeral

Due to the current restrictions on having close contact, and the rules of social distancing, your communication with a Funeral Director may be limited, this may be done virtually (e.g. via Skype or Zoom) or by phone. Talk to your child about any questions they may have for the Funeral Director, ensure they have clear information as the arrangements progress and have the opportunity to think of other ways that you can all remember the person who has died. We have provided some suggestions for you below.

The Funeral

Funerals are usually an opportunity for families to come together and for people to pay their respects and say goodbye. In normal circumstances these can be attended by a lot of people. Unfortunately the virus means that the numbers of people allowed to attend a funeral will be limited and only a few direct family members will be permitted to attend. This may mean that children who wish to attend are unable to, which may be upsetting for them. Be honest with them and explain that it’s because of limited numbers and that families will have to decide who will attend based on their relationship to the person who’s died and whether some members of the family are in isolation and therefore not allowed to go. You could draw a family tree or diagram to help demonstrate who is/isn’t attending. Be careful to explain why a person is able to attend and the fact that there will be many other people who won’t have the opportunity to attend either. See example below.

Some Funeral Directors may provide the opportunity to have the funeral service streamed online, if not, discuss what other options may be available for recording the service. This is a good way to include any child/ren and other family members that can’t attend.

If children are attending, explain that they must be sitting with other members of their own household because of current social distancing guidelines. They will not be able to have close contact with people outside their household, which may be difficult for them as many of us seek comfort from others at funerals. This is also part of the Government guidance to prevent the spread of the virus. If they have attended a funeral before then this experience may feel very different, e.g. family are unlikely to travel in chauffeured funeral cars to the service.

Flowers

Due to an interruption in supply of flowers at this time, you may not be able to order flowers for the funeral. Perhaps the child/ren could make paper flowers or cut some from your garden to create a special posy for you to take. Even a single flower chosen by them may provide some comfort.

Remembering

After the funeral service it’s traditional to have a gathering (often called a wake) to celebrate the person’s life. This is unlikely to take place but it doesn’t stop you from celebrating the person’s life as a family. Here are some ideas to help you remember them and celebrate their life:

  • Arrange a virtual meet up with family members and friends where you can share stories and memories together, perhaps think of a theme, maybe wear their favourite colour.
  • Share the eulogies and readings from the service.
  • Ask people to light a candle (at their home) in memory of the person who has died. You could organise it so everyone lights their candle on an agreed day and time to make it feel more special.
  • Set up an online memorial page and encourage people to add their memories and photos.
  • Create a memory box.
  • Play the person’s favourite music and just take time to remember them.
  • Arrange a celebration or memorial service for later in the year (perhaps on a significant date) so everyone has the opportunity to say goodbye.
  • Consider an online fundraising page to support a charity of that person’s choice.
  • When the current social distancing guidelines have been relaxed you could arrange to visit the grave.

Finally…

Reassure your child that the current restrictions are only temporary, they won’t be forever. Keep in contact with the Funeral Director and be guided by what they say as they will know the current regulations and will be happy to help you.

 

Coronavirus Anxiety: How can I help my child?

It’s a very uncertain time for us all, with many of us becoming anxious about the changes being encouraged in our daily lives. For a child that has already suffered bereavement, you may find them to be additionally anxious with the media focussing so heavily on the topic of Coronavirus and potential death.

Here are some steps you can take to try to reduce their anxiety:

  • Focus on what you CAN control. Write down their worries and discuss what you can do to reduce them. For example, if your child is worried that their relative may contract coronavirus or die, help them to understand what you can do as a family by following NHS guidelines. https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/coronavirus-covid-19/

Reassure that these measures aren’t forever, but just for now.

  • Explain to children that there are lot of people who have recovered from Coronavirus and not everybody will die from it. Most people have a temperature and cough so will need to be treated to relieve the symptoms. It’s mostly dangerous/concerning to people who have other health problems and that’s why we need to stay away from them for now.
  • If someone is not considered high risk – explain this to them and why. If they are considered high risk, what are the measures in place to look after them?

We can never promise a child that someone won’t die, but we can help them understand how LIKELY it is.

  • It may reassure children to speak to their loved ones. Phone calls and video calls will not only show your child that their loved one is ok, but for those who are self –isolating it will cheer them up.
  • There are lots of websites and apps which can help with mindfulness such as calm, headspace or https://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/apple.htm
  • Try to avoid the phrase, ‘don’t worry about it.’ Instead, try to give accurate, age appropriate information. Of course we don’t want our children to worry, but the clearer their understanding is, the less they will need to worry. What they don’t understand, they will look up on the Internet or their imagination will create.
  • Try not to show panic or fear in front of children. They will pick up on the feelings of those they trust most.
  • Ensure they are only taking on news from respectable sources. Explain that the media usually only focusses on negative things, not positive. Can you make a list of 5 good things that have happened in the last week?
  • Discuss normal every day and positive things, especially before bedtime. Perhaps read a book so they go to sleep thinking of positive things.
  • Where possible, try to stick to routine as this can help children feel safe.
  • We are being encouraged to social distance for all of the right reasons, but can you have a little fun with it?! Ask your children what they would like to do and try some new ideas. Arts and crafts, films, playing in the garden etc.
  • Above all, do nice things for yourselves and for others. This is a very challenging time for us all, but it can also be a learning experience. A chance for your children to learn how we can all come together to help each other in a time of need.

 

ANNOUNCEMENT

ANNOUNCEMENT: Following the recent developments regarding coronavirus and subsequent advice from Public Health England, we have taken the decision to pause our face to face support with bereaved children and young people and cancel the Nelson’s Journey Easter egg hunt.

All families with support sessions (both 1:1 and our planned therapeutic weekend) booked to take place between now and the end of March will be contacted by the Child Bereavement Support Worker to discuss and we will be reviewing the situation at the beginning of April.

All those that have booked tickets to attend the Easter egg hunt will be contacted today.

Our main priority is the health and safety of the children and families that we work with, supporters, staff team and wider community, and we do not want to put anyone at unnecessary risk.

As you can appreciate, these uncertain times will have an impact across the economy and are a concern to us as a charity reliant on support from the local community to exist. Please bear with us and we will provide further updates as things change.

We apologise to anyone this may affect and are sending our very best wishes to all who are being impacted by this virus.

We have enabled our staff to work from home wherever possible and we are working to try and ensure our Support Line remains accessible enabling those with concerns for the wellbeing of bereaved children and young people to speak with a Child Bereavement Support Worker over the telephone.

We will keep you all updated as the situation changes. Thank you for your support and patience.

All at Nelson’s Journey

Smiles & Tears Bereavement Resource

@richardjarmy – www.richardjarmy.co.uk

Nelson’s Journey reveal new educational bereavement resource

Nelson’s Journey has recently launched a new educational resource with support from Wymondham based toy manufacturer Orchard Toys Ltd. The Smiles & Tears resource will help young people to better understand the impact a significant bereavement can have on their peers, and encourage children and young people to talk about their feelings and views regarding the subject of death, dying and bereavement.

The ‘Smiles and Tears’ resource is a team based discussion tool aimed at groups of young people aged 10-17. It is structured similarly to a traditional board game, with teams moving their pieces around a large vinyl matt and considering discussion and question cards relating to the journey of young people following the death of a special person. Teams reflect on how bereaved children and young people may feel and react in different situations whilst also educating them in how to support peers who may have had a similar experience.

The idea was generated by the Nelson’s Journey Youth Panel and young volunteers when they were discussing how Nelson’s Journey could develop new approaches to support Norfolk’s bereaved children and young people. One young volunteer had been involved in an educational project taken into schools regarding the criminal justice system and felt that a similar approach could work around bereavement.

Jack was 11yrs when his Mum died, reflecting on his time when at high school he said “I was new to my school and we were playing a game to get to know each other. Another pupil said “If you have a Mum, stand-up” I stayed sitting down and my teacher said “Why haven’t you got up, you are cheating”, I explained that I don’t have a Mum and that she had died and he said “well you did have one, so stand up”. I was really angry and my Dad ended up speaking to the school and the teacher apologised. I think the new resource will help young people and school staff to better understand how they can support bereaved young people like me.”

Simon Wright, Chief Executive at Nelson’s Journey said “We need to break through the taboo of talking about death and grief, and support young people to feel comfortable in having those conversations. We’re grateful for the support of Orchard Toys and proud of our young volunteers and staff who have worked hard to create a resource that will encourage those conversations. We believe that this is the only resource of its kind in the UK”.

Ali Brown, Marketing Manager at Orchard Toys says “We are very proud to have been involved in developing this innovative resource with the Nelson’s Journey Youth Panel and young volunteers. It has been a pleasure to work with the Nelsons Journey team, on a resource that is very different in topic and style to our traditional educational games. Our design team have been very passionate about the project and have worked hard to create a resource that looks engaging and will encourage children and young people to participate.”

Schools and youth groups can register their interest in using the Smiles & Tears resource with young people by emailing enquiries@nelsonsjourney.org.uk or by calling 01603 431788

Volunteering for Nelson’s Journey: Andrea

In what capacity do you volunteer for Nelson’s Journey? e.g. support in the office, therapeutic interventions, events, youth panel etc.

Since starting 12 months ago I’ve volunteered at: events and day’s out, manned Nelson’s Journey stalls, helped in the office, helped at a residential weekend, given talks, supported Nelson’s Journey staff when they deliver Child Bereavement Awareness Training to professionals and even been an Extra for a short film promoting the NJ Purple Picnic. And…As it happens – tonight I’m going to a Ball (just call me Cinders!) to represent NJ and give information to attendees.

What was your motivation to volunteer for Nelson’s Journey?

When I moved to Norfolk (3 years ago) I was looking for a voluntary role which made use of my skills and experience in supporting vulnerable children and families. I kept hearing about Nelson’s Journey. And not just the odd comment but praises sung, unanimously, about the fantastic work the charity does.  A year ago, and after some research into the charity I applied to become a volunteer. I was very quickly interviewed and began my very own Nelson’s Journey, journey. And what a 12 months it’s been… I was welcomed on board by all the staff, who always have a smile and kind word for the volunteers no matter how busy they are or what they are dealing with through their work. Staff give excellent support to their volunteers and are always there to give guidance if needed. In January I was surprised and felt very proud to have been presented with a Bronze Volunteer award in recognition of the hours I had spent, over my first 8 months, supporting NJ.

What do you feel you get out of volunteering for a charity?

I look forward to continuing supporting in as many ways as I can because I feel there are still potential service users who don’t know enough about the services offered by Nelson’s Journey. And because service users themselves are so very grateful of support from staff and volunteers at difficult times in their lives. It is always rewarding when people feel they are able to tell you their story and talk about how they have been helped through their journey of bereavement. Volunteering for this charity has helped me to focus on something I wholeheartedly believe in and has helped me utilise my spare time in such a positive and uplifting way.

Have you learnt any new skills whilst volunteering for us?

I have pushed myself to do things I’ve never done before and really enjoyed the challenge. For instance, when I was interviewed I said that “I THINK i can give talks to groups of people”. And even after the training, I still wasn’t quite sure I could do it. But I did do it, and I loved it. I saw the impact that the information I was giving had on the attendees, listened to their stories and was overwhelmed by their support. I realised that it’s not about me and how I feel about standing up in front of a group and talking, it’s about spreading that all important NJ message and gaining peoples trust and support.  On the training weekend I learnt how difficult it is to do, what appears to be a simple task, without the wholehearted support of your team. As far as outstanding team work goes, I feel that Nelson’s Journey have got it nailed!

Have there been any ‘stand out’ moments for you whilst volunteering and if so can you tell us a little more about it?

Thinking back over the last year of volunteering I couldn’t pick one single outstanding moment because each time I have helped, no matter what I’ve been doing, there have been moments in every situation that stand out for me. I’m looking forward to many more ‘stand-out moments’ on my continuing journey as a volunteer with Nelson’s Journey.

Leah’s Story: Bereaved by suicide

Leah was supported by Nelson’s Journey following her Dad, Lawrence ending his life whilst working away in Singapore.

The impact of being bereaved in such circumstances is significant with family members and friends left with many questions. Leanne, mother of Leah chose to be open and honest with her and her siblings which helped Leah to process accurate information which is so important for bereaved children and young people.

Leah wants to help people of all ages to understand that it is ok to talk about suicide and it shouldn’t be a subject that is shied away from.

Prior to Lawrence’s death, the family has planned to climb Mount Snowdon but he died three weeks before this trip was due to happen. Leah, her Mum, step Dad and siblings will be climbing Mount Snowdon in memory of Lawrence and they are raising funds for Nelson’s Journey helping to ensure that our support remains available to those that need it. If you would like to sponsor Leah and her family you can do so by visiting https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/familyof8

Leah has shown courage to share her story so openly and we hope you feel able to read about her experience to help her in her quest to help break the stigma of bereavement by suicide.

Thank you to EDP 24 for working with Leah and her family so sensitively.

READ THE FULL ARTICLE BY CLICKING HERE 

Vacancy: Board Secretary (volunteer)

The Board of Trustees at Nelson’s Journey are seeking a volunteer secretary. The vacancy has arisen due to the retirement of the current secretary. The role of the Secretary is to support the Chair in ensuring the smooth functioning of the Board.

The Board of Trustees meets 8 times a year, on evening weekdays to a schedule agreed at the start of each calendar year. The meetings take place at Nelson’s Journey’s base: Smiles House, Little Plumstead, and generally last up to two hours. A Secretary is required for those Board meetings, and the work is otherwise flexible and can be carried out at home (or at Smiles House if required).

The Secretary is responsible for:

  • Ensuring full Board meetings are organised and minuted
  • Maintaining effective records and administration
  • Supporting Trustees where necessary with the requirements of the charity’s Constitution, governing documents, and other agreed governance processes, and having an awareness of charity law (training will be provided)

Please see the Role Description and Person Specification for further details.

Induction and training will be available as required for the successful applicant. It is understood that many potential applicants will not have experience of charity law or the charity’s constitutional requirements, and support will be provided.

This is a volunteer role, and no employment relationship is intended and no legal commitments are entered into between Nelson’s Journey and our volunteers.

Nelson’s Journey is SAFER accredited with the Norfolk Child Safeguarding Board. Recruitment to this role will be subject to our processes and policies regarding safeguarding of children. Nelson’s Journey will obtain a basic Disclosure and Barring Service (DBS) check for preferred applicants.

Applications should be sent to the CEO, Simon Wright, using the Application Form by MONDAY 29 JULY, 5pm. Arrangements for interviews will be discussed with shortlisted candidates at a later date (provisionally mid-Aug).

Any enquiries about the role can be directed to the CEO at simon@nelsonsjourney.org.uk

DOWNLOAD THE APPLICATION PACK BY CLICKING ON THE FOLLOWING LINKS